I’m an “everything happens for a reason” believer. And after everything that’s happened this month, I know that’s probably a little hard to believe. But despite the fire, the insurance fights and the trauma, I still found myself searching for the reason behind it. The reason we were chosen to go through it all. And this morning, I figured it out.
The reason it all happened is simple…to save me. To give me perspective on a life I was so close to losing. You see, on the outside, my life was shiny. It was glamorous, filled with first class trips to Cannes and five star stays in over water bungalows. It was free meals in fancy restaurants and swag bags filled with designer goods. But on the inside? It was falling apart. I was losing everything that mattered to me because all of my focus was on the shiny. I was so determined to be successful in my career that I forgot what else mattered to me. I forgot that I had a husband who loved me but was losing hope in us. I had a family I blew off for trips and parties. I had friends who stop trying to see me, knowing I’d always cancel for something better. I was so focused on ME that i forgot to focus on the people who MADE me. Who love me. I pushed them aside for the shiny life I thought was perfect.
And guys, I don’t share everything on here and maybe that should change, but I was so close to losing the thing that matters more to me than anything. Matters more to me than cooking, my job, traveling. I was so close to losing my husband and marriage I could taste it. And maybe that was when God, or whatever being is up there, decided to take things into his own hands. That’s when we had the fire. And in more ways than one, it cleansed us. As we were picking through our things, our possessions, the things we used to hide behind when we didn’t want to talk, we came together. We held each other while we cried. And we knew how close we were to TRULY losing everything. And like that, our marriage and our love came back. Now, we aren’t perfect, by any means, but I can say with a full heart that our love is stronger than it has ever been (even stronger than our wedding day!)
I’ll always be thankful that it opened my eyes to the amazing world around me. Before, I spent nearly all of my time working. The only time I felt truly alive was when I was traveling without wifi, without a computer. When I actually allowed myself to take in what an insanely beautiful world we live in. And you know what? I shouldn’t have to travel 4500 miles away to have those moments. There is so much beauty all around me that deserves discovering. Moments that I need to experience instead of let pass by.
This photo is proof of that. I took this on Saturday when we were having a picnic in the park with friends. This is what I was missing when I was too busy scheduling and trying to live a shiny, “perfect” life. So for opening my eyes to the world, giving me perspective, saving my marriage, for that, I’m always going to be thankful for the fire. For reminding me of what the true reason for my life is. Because of this, you might notice that posts will be a bit more sporadic over here, and that’s not because I don’t still love and cherish this blog. I’ve just spent so much of my time stressing over it and focusing on the wrong things I lost why I began it to begin with. Like I re-discovered the reason for my life, I’m going to re-discover the reason for this blog. Re-discover why I love it so much. And I promise when I do, it’ll be amazing.