The Reason

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I’m an “everything happens for a reason” believer. And after everything that’s happened this month, I know that’s probably a little hard to believe. But despite the fire, the insurance fights and the trauma, I still found myself searching for the reason behind it. The reason we were chosen to go through it all. And this morning, I figured it out.

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The reason it all happened is simple…to save me. To give me perspective on a life I was so close to losing. You see, on the outside, my life was shiny. It was glamorous, filled with first class trips to Cannes and five star stays in over water bungalows. It was free meals in fancy restaurants and swag bags filled with designer goods. But on the inside? It was falling apart. I was losing everything that mattered to me because all of my focus was on the shiny. I was so determined to be successful in my career that I forgot what else mattered to me. I forgot that I had a husband who loved me but was losing hope in us. I had a family I blew off for trips and parties. I had friends who stop trying to see me, knowing I’d always cancel for something better. I was so focused on ME that i forgot to focus on the people who MADE me. Who love me. I pushed them aside for the shiny life I thought was perfect.

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And guys, I don’t share everything on here and maybe that should change, but I was so close to losing the thing that matters more to me than anything. Matters more to me than cooking, my job, traveling. I was so close to losing my husband and marriage I could taste it. And maybe that was when God, or whatever being is up there, decided to take things into his own hands. That’s when we had the fire. And in more ways than one, it cleansed us. As we were picking through our things, our possessions, the things we used to hide behind when we didn’t want to talk, we came together. We held each other while we cried. And we knew how close we were to TRULY losing everything. And like that, our marriage and our love came back. Now, we aren’t perfect, by any means, but I can say with a full heart that our love is stronger than it has ever been (even stronger than our wedding day!)

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I’ll always be thankful that it opened my eyes to the amazing world around me. Before, I spent nearly all of my time working. The only time I felt truly alive was when I was traveling without wifi, without a computer. When I actually allowed myself to take in what an insanely beautiful world we live in. And you know what? I shouldn’t have to travel 4500 miles away to have those moments. There is so much beauty all around me that deserves discovering. Moments that I need to experience instead of let pass by.

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This photo is proof of that. I took this on Saturday when we were having a picnic in the park with friends. This is what I was missing when I was too busy scheduling and trying to live a shiny, “perfect” life. So for opening my eyes to the world, giving me perspective, saving my marriage, for that, I’m always going to be thankful for the fire. For reminding me of what the true reason for my life is. Because of this, you might notice that posts will be a bit more sporadic over here, and that’s not because I don’t still love and cherish this blog. I’ve just spent so much of my time stressing over it and focusing on the wrong things I lost why I began it to begin with. Like I re-discovered the reason for my life, I’m going to re-discover the reason for this blog. Re-discover why I love it so much. And I promise when I do, it’ll be amazing.

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Comments

  1. Posted by Char Goodwin on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    That was amazing and I agree things do happen for a reason. My daughter lost everything 2 weeks ago because she broke up with her boyfriend of 5 yrs. He destroyed 4 trash bags of clothes, all of her furniture..everything. Then Saturday someone broke into her car and stole her purse. She had it in there because where she works people would steal from the girls purses. And before she could put a stop on her debt card, they used it. I told her we will get through this and there's a reason for everything. It will make her stronger. Your situation will make you stronger as well. You need to do what is best for you. As fans of your blog and recipes, we will still be here.
  2. Posted by Liz @ The Lemon Bowl on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    I love this post for so many reasons. I completely agree and have been through some really low points in life but in the end I now realize that God had a plan. I'm proud of you for seeing light out of such a horrible tragedy. It is always an inspiring reminder to keep everything in perspective. xoxoo
    • Posted by Lidia on
      Wednesday, July 20th, 2016
      This article acveheid exactly what I wanted it to achieve.
  3. Posted by Sophia @ NY Foodgasm on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    This is a BEAUTIFUL post Claire! Thank you for being so real and raw! I am glad you can see something beautiful in something seemingly tragic. Years ago I was unemployed for over a year and a half. What I got out of that is that friends and family are what matters most and money is fleeting. I do think that there is a lesson to be learned in our darkest times. Keep sharing, I must confess I was starting not to like your blog so much since it seemed you were just sharing all these amazing trips. Kinda made me feel like you were rubbing it in to those who could not afford such luxuries. But you got me back with this post!!
  4. Posted by Bev @ Bev Cooks on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    <3
  5. Posted by Clare on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    I think I told you right after you posted some of the first of your fire pics that after my fire experience, I came to see it as a blessing in disguise. It seems that in many ways, the fire was your blessing in disguise too. I too considered the fire as my wake up call and it's funny how life works that way. I'm glad that your eyes are open now and that you've gained new perspective on life.
  6. Monday, June 17th, 2013
    This is such a beautiful post, love. It makes me miss you SO much more than I already did, and I cannot wait for you to come up to NYC next month so I can hug you! xo
  7. Posted by Becky B on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    This is a beautiful and inspiring post. Thanks for sharing.
  8. Posted by Grubarazzi on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    This is proof that the love you almost lost was always very strong. Allow me to explain. These traumatic moments are often the ones that tear marriages apart, because the relationship breaks under the stress. But your relationship only found a way to bloom again underneath all of that weight. You were able to take a step back and remember why you love him so much. And that is a beautiful gift. Here's to more "fires" and more moments of loving clarity. xo
  9. Posted by Ali | Gimme Some Oven on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    So beautifully said, and more, beautifully lived.

    Grateful for literal beauty from ashes for you all, and for your courage to find the better story in the midst of it all. I wish you all the best as you continue to live this out. You are an inspiration!!!
  10. Posted by Kathryn on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    What a brave and honest post; this has given me so much to think about in my own life. Whatever the fire may have destroyed, it's good to see that it hasn't destroyed the most important things in life xo
  11. Posted by Carolyn on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    This, Claire. This might be one of the best blog posts I've read in a long, long time. I don't believe in God, and I do believe in random chance and that not everything happens for a reason. BUT! I also believe in taking the things that happen to us and using them to better our lives and the lives of those around us. This is a beautiful post and I sit here with tears in my eyes. The shiny soon tarnishes if you don't have anyone to share it with.
  12. Posted by Karen Petersen on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Oh man, this is so well said. It's so easy to get caught up in the things that matter the least at the expense of things that matter the most, our families. So glad that you were able to gain the perspective that you needed! What a blessing.
  13. Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Claire, thank you for sharing such a heart felt post. I think you are a shining example that life is precious and we should always stop and smell the roses. xoxo
  14. Posted by Kathy - Panini Happy on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    What amazing perspective, Claire. Thanks so much for sharing it!
  15. Posted by Cookin Canuck on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    What a beautiful and honest post. It is so easy to get stuck in the cogs of the fast life wheel and to lose perspective on those things that truly matter. It's so heartening to read your story.
  16. Posted by Gina on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Well said, lady. <3
  17. Posted by Maria on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing!
  18. Posted by Linda Martin on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Thank you for sharing and good for you. There has to be a balance. Life is a journey, lots of U turns or missed ones. We learn from our experiences. Hope your love together grows more and more and that you find the balance you both need.
  19. Posted by Jackie on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Beautiful job. I can't wait to see what you write from the true outpouring of your lovely heart. May we all be so lucky to have "fires" when we truly need them :)
  20. Posted by Meagan @ A Zesty Bite on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    What a beautiful post. I love how REAL you were with us and how WE can all relate to you on a daily basis.
  21. Monday, June 17th, 2013
    So happy that you have found the positive out of the situation, and it has turned around so much in your life! You deserve to be happy, and have love in your life - do whatever it takes to hold onto it!
  22. Posted by Kristen on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    So honest and lovely - thanks for sharing.
  23. Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Claire, You done good. I have nothing else to say other than that. Oh, and you are truly blessed!
  24. Posted by cassie on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    This is beautiful, Claire and I love the strength you show in writing it. I have definitely been in a similar place and really applaud you for seeing the silver lining...that is so hard to do sometimes! We will always be here for you! xoxo
  25. Posted by DessertForTwo on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Oh my gosh, Claire! I've been under a rock and am just now hearing about the fire. I'm so so so sorry. I'm glad you two are okay (and the dogs, too!).
    Wow. You're my hero for continuing to blog and comment on others' sites.
    If you need anything, please let me know. Anything--just ask and it's yours.
  26. Posted by Aggie on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    I had no idea...and I'm sorry. I think a lot of us have found ourselves living for something not as important as the stuff that really matters in life, i know Im guilty. thank you for the reminder.
    Hugs girl, xo
  27. Posted by Rachel on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    Love this, and you. xo
  28. Posted by carrian on
    Monday, June 17th, 2013
    I adore this post. Thank you for your honesty and better, your decision to unplug and be present. We all need that reminder no matter what we say.
  29. Posted by Laura (Tutti Dolci) on
    Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
    Such an amazing post, Claire! I can't even imagine what you've gone through recently, but I know that sunshine always comes out of the storms. Thank you for sharing and the great reminder to treasure what's truly important!
  30. Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
    Thank you so much for being brave enough to post this. Often success looks so great from the sidelines, but so much can be lost when we are (sometimes selfishly) chasing our dreams. I'm so sorry this happened, but I'm glad you saw God through the mess. Refinement through fire!
  31. Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
    beautiful, beautiful. . I got caught up last night on all of your posts. . the fire, etc. . so glad everyone is safe and ok. and so happy for you and your husband. good thing you realized all of this before it was too late. thank you for such an honest, beautiful post!
  32. Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
    Clarie - I agree with each and word here. Sometimes we get so preoccupied and take things for grated and unfortunately, its sad events like fire happens to make us realize whats important. I have gone through similar phase and I am so happpppppy that you have found what important..Sending you lots of love and thanks for sharing this with all of us because we all tend to forget and need a reminder every now and then.
  33. Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
    You have such a wonderful perspective of things and your honesty is so admirable. I was tearing up reading this, and I am so happy that you have began shifting your focus to what really makes you happy. I am so thrilled for you and will continue to follow you on instagram, and will probably see some of your life changes through there :) I'm so happy for you (despite the trauma you have been through, obviously) but your ability to see the positive is so inspirational. So for that, I say "thank you!"
  34. Posted by Bree (Skinny Mommy) on
    Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
    Beautifully written Claire!
    • Posted by Keisha on
      Wednesday, July 20th, 2016
      Good to find an expert who knows what he's takling about!
    • Posted by levitra on
      Saturday, October 1st, 2016
      Ouray through Tomboy down to Telluride is my WTF run.. The city of Telluride, where i lived for 8 years is my town.. plenty of crazy people who love the out doors and a few ultra runners. Good thing others have no desire to enter the forest and see what you, i and a few others see.. else there would be nothing there.. keep going strong!
    • Saturday, October 22nd, 2016
      Perhaps one of the most useful lessons of history is that most people most of the time are wrong. Much of what is widely accepted as unquestionable truth at any given time is later considered to be primitive nonsense and it is unlikely we are now at the end of that process.
    • Saturday, October 22nd, 2016
      92 3-6-12 spune: In mod normal, daca era sursa, se restarta PC-ul asa ca ramane varianta driverelor de la placa video, sau chiar placa in sine. +25V-a ajutat acest raspuns?
    • Posted by http://www./ on
      Monday, November 14th, 2016
      Men det låter ju i alla fall betryggande att ni är fler som väntar på recex av Lilla stjärna. Vi håller tummarna för att de snart dyker upp!
    • Posted by http://www./ on
      Tuesday, February 28th, 2017
      Je n'ai pas trop la culture du poisson, j'en ai mangé pour la première fois à vingt ans passés, du coup je ne suis pas à l'aise pour le cuisiner, mais ta façon d'en parler a l'air si simple, et calme, et tranquille, et sereine... Mais est-ce que cette impression vient de toi ou du poisson?!
    • Posted by bcbsnc quote on
      Friday, March 17th, 2017
      Such an impressive answer! You've beaten us all with that!
  35. Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
    Oh, Claire, this is such a great post! It is true that things seem to happen for a reason and I'm so glad that you are trying to see the silver lining and that this through this tragedy, you and your husband are finding each other again.
  36. Wednesday, June 19th, 2013
    Sometimes there is light in the dark. I'm so glad you were able to discover/re-discover something so precious through your tragedy. Keep moving forward and enjoying every bit of the good life.
  37. Posted by Maria on
    Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
    Oh what a beautiful and insightful post. I have never read your blog before and I already feel like I know you from this, perhaps because I have so much that I can relate to in this post myself.

    First of all, I'm so sorry about your loss. I things are just "things", but I still cannot imagine how difficult it is to go through a house fire and to keep thinking, "This could have been worse".

    I accepted a job three months ago and am working constantly at the moment. I am buried in work and I continue to bury myself in it. And the sad part is, I didn't want this job at first - I knew it wasn't right for me, but I took it anyway - for the pay. They pay and the opportunities to feel special and be apart of a unique startup lured me in, but they most certainly are not going to keep me there long term. When work starts to impede on personal life, you must draw a line and that's a hard lesson I'm learning right now. Thank you for the reminder and for being honest about your struggle with a similar issue.

    Looking forward to reading more of your work!
  38. Posted by Nikki on
    Thursday, June 27th, 2013
    This post made me smile. It does, indeed, sometimes take a bit of tragedy to open our eyes to all the good around us. It's unfortunate that we have to learn lessons in this way, but they are lessons to cherish. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor September 2012 and it rocked my world. In the process, it opened my eyes to everything around me and how lucky I was to have the people...family & friends...that I did. It made me see my partner in a whole new light as he stood by my side every minute of that medical crisis. I realized I had begun to take him for granted and now I will never let that happen again. Our relationship is stronger. Our bond is tighter. And our love is deeper. And life...is beautiful. When I woke up from brain surgery, all I could do was smile because I felt so fortunate that I had another opportunity to embrace everything around me. I'm so sorry that you had to experience pain and loss. But I am also so happy that helped open your eyes again. :)
  39. Posted by Jessie on
    Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
    You are such a precious soul, my friend. :) Thank you for sharing this all here with us, and know that you're in my prayers! Something I heard/wrote down this past weekend: Cling to a love greater than loss, a peace greater than chaos, and the joy that is greater than pain. Hope it blesses you as much as it blesses me, and please say that you can feel my virtual hugs all the way from here!