A Happy Life Tip: Don’t let anger control you
PIN IT!
Let me clear this up, first off. This article is not going to say “anger is a bad emotion” or “you shouldn’t react when you are feeling pissed off.” Because let’s get real, every single person on this planet has felt like that [see photo above] at some point in their life. Whether they be a male, female, black, white, Indian, overweight, thin, healthy, unemployed, employed, wealthy, poor…no matter who you are or what demographic you fall into, you have felt anger at some point. What this article is about is not letting this feeling consume you to the point where you have lost who you are, lost friendships, and lost complete control over your emotions.
How do you release your anger? Work out? Punching bag? Yelling? Crying? Listening to music? Writing? Laughing with friends or family?
What differentiates us as people is how we react to this crazy thing called life. When we find ourselves facing a hard time or an infuriating situation, some of us cry, laugh, scream, smile, frown, run, eat, write, watch television, listen to music, etc. Me? Well, I react a bit different. I freak the F out, for lack of better words. Friends and followers, I’ll be the first to admit, I have an anger problem. My poor fiancée calls me the “incredible hulk” sometimes because of how anger consumes me and I lose everything about me when I’m feeling irritated or enraged. And sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one who has this problem. However, thanks to two recent articles I just read [one in SELF and one in the NY times] I’ve come to realize this overwhelming feeling of anger in women is quite common, however the reactions do differ among young to old. The article in October 2010’s issue of SELF found that women in their 40’s and up are less likely to show their displeasure, while women in their 20’s are more likely to be vocal or very sarcastic when they are angry. Many older women say age has “mellowed them out”, making them more likely to let go of things that anger them than women who are younger because they have learned what is worth the fight and what isn’t. Doctors who study anger recommend trying to take this approach not only for mental health, but for physical health reasons as well. According to Howard Kassinove, Ph.D, as stated in SELF, people who frequently showcase and vet their anger are far likelier to experience heart attacks and other cardiovascular disease than those who don’t.
Is work the cause of a lot of your anger? You are not alone. A study found that 20 % of women are more likely to lose their cool at work or with coworkers than any other place or relationships, mainly due to stressful deadlines and miscommunication.
So what makes our blood boil? According to the article in the New York Times, the main reason women get angry is due to the fact “they could not meet their own expectations, could not change frustrating circumstances at work, when family members, friends or co-workers failed to live up to expectations or when they believed they were treated unfairly or disrespectfully.” [Jane Brody, NY Times]. A poll done by SELF found that, along with the workplace statistic, most young women get angry with their significant other [53% to be exact]and at the day’s common annoyances, such as traffic or lines in stores [47% of us]. Although going ballistic on your coworker is not a good way to handle a workplace issue, neither is keeping your anger pent up inside. Keeping your frustrations with your mate, traffic or work built up inside of you can lead to a “meltdown”, where you end up letting out all of the frustrations in your life at once [or on one person], instead of dealing with them as they arise. Repressing feelings can also exact a physical and psychological toll because it really keeps you from dealing with the issue properly and efficiently.
Although I’m relieved to know I’m not the only woman with a knack for venting, screaming and yelling at everyone around me, the articles point out how unhealthy and lonely this can be [not to mention dangerous]. Truthfully, going through life angry is no way to live, you’ll end up feeling isolated, unhappy and out of control. I’m only 24 and I already see how my anger has affected not only my relationships, but my health, both mentally and physically. So I’m going to do what I can to relax and let go of things that are completely out of my control. As the great band Oasis once said, “don’t look back in anger…at least not today.”
[Enjoy their music video below, as a way to relieve your stress and anger!]
Claire
Tags:anger, anger problems, dealing with anger, when to react to anger, women anger issues
Comments