Real Housewives Recap & Halloween Swirl Muffins
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Before we begin with the rant er, recap, let’s see a raise of hands here. How many of you, shamelessly or not, watch The Real Housewives? It doesn’t matter what season, just want to know. If you do, you’re probably going to love this recap. If you don’t, your still probably going to love this recap. I have a VERY love/hate relationship with all of them, however, it is especially intense for the New Jersey girls and Beverly Hills. And, after two full days of watching these shows, I just have to vent a little.
However, this whole post would be a recap if I talked about both of them so let’s just focus on NJ today and start off with my favorite character to hate, Teresa.
Did y’all watch the episode where they went to Punta Cana? Um, let’s talk for a minute about that. First of all, Teresa, you aren’t that hott and you are too old to be wearing string bikinis. You have 4 kids. Touchè on having that great body, just, be a bit more modest. Oh, and you aren’t hotter than Melissa. Not even close. Plus, that’s your sister in law and your brothers wife, like, who cares? Let’s talk for a second about that crazy pants freak out with Kathy. Um, Teresa? NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. I’m not stupid, I know it was staged, however, I don’t think you can pretend to be that crazy. She took what Kathy said about her family and somehow spun it to be about her. You may be reading a script, but beyatch? You crazy. I’m not really on team Kathy here, but I feel so bad for her. She’s just trying to be a part of her cousin’s life and Teresa’s not having any part of it. Hopefully they can mend their fake relationship or at least, get cattier in the next season, don’t you think?
Now, let’s talk, briefly about Joe, Teresa’s husband, who has a brain the size of a small earthworm.
Oh Joe. Joe Joe Joe. Let’s go back to the episode of Teresa’s book signing. Her brother, who she clearly loves and is trying to rekindle a relationship with, is getting ridiculous threatening messages from her husband, big Joe. Dude? YOU’RE 40. You have kids. HE IS THE FATHER OF YOUR NEICE AND NEPHEW. First of all, you’re too old to talk like a gangster. Once again, you’re 40. That whole “I’m an Italian gangster” thing is getting a little old. Secondly, what kind of influence are you trying to be for your kids talking like you belong in a Godfather movie? Come on, bro. Lastly, I know he is bankrupt and pretty awful with money, but how on earth did he even make any? I don’t think he can even spell his name better yet run a successfull buisness. Someone, PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THIS HAPPENS? Because as you know, I’m sort of broke and would love to get paid doing whatever he does.
Lastly, let’s talk about my favorite person, Caroline.
I serioulsy love Caroline. She can do no wrong in my book. I’m sure she has real life flaws, but as a viewer, I find her an absolute charm. Caroline is the strong, mother bear who would do anything for her family and loved ones. She’s a very strong woman who, frankly, doesn’t act like a complete nutjob. She’s collected, sophisticated and elegant while still being real. She wears sweat pants on camera and doesn’t flash around her money. I love the last episode because Caroline discusses loyalty and the importance of being true to your friends. And you know what? You don’t bash someone’s kid in your book, especially if you are supposed to be good friends. Caroline, keep on doin’ whatcha do.
Wow. That felt GREAT! Please, friends, leave a comment with your thoughts, gribes and groans on this season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’m exhausted so it’s time to talk muffins. AND, not just any ol’ muffins, HALLOWEEN SWIRL MUFFINS!
They aren’t spooky or shaped like anything, but they are orange and black (well, dark brown) so they count as Halloween in my book! I saw this recipe for chocolate, pumpkin swirl brownies and got really excited. “Why not turn these into muffins!” I thought. Chocolate muffins are amazing, pumpkin muffins are even more amazing, so why not combine them for the most amazingly tasting thing ever? I did some lightening up with the muffins and omitted the normal stick of butter you see in them. You don’t need butter for a delicious tasting muffin, you just need some creativity 🙂
Plus, pumpkin makes everything better. Duh. In all seriousness, I made these on Thursday and they were completely gone by Saturday. No, E and I did not sit in glutton stuffing our faces all weekend. We have two lovely roomates who also benfit from the fruit of my labor and enjoyed some of these moist, incredibly sweet and flavorful muffins.
However, I won’t judge you if you do happen to eat 12 yourself. They are that good 🙂
Halloween Swirl Muffins
Yields: About 18 muffins
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 20-30 minutes
What You’ll Need:
Chocolate muffin mix:
- 1 1/3 cup flour
- 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Godiva)
- 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 cup dark brown sugar, packed
- 1/4 cup applesauce (plain or cinnamon flavored)
- 3 egg whites
- 1 tablespoon oil (canola or vegetable)
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2/3 cup skim milk
Pumpkin muffin mix:
- 1 cup white sugar
- 1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour (or all purpose)
- 15 oz can pumpkin
- 1/3 cup vegetable oil
- 2 large eggs
- 1 1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp salt
- cooking spray
How to make them:
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cupcake pan with liners or spray heavily with cooking spray.
- To make pumpkin mix, mix eggs, pumpkin, oil, sugar, spices and salt. Once mixed, add in flour, baking powder and baking soda until just combined. Set aside.
- In another bowl, stir all wet ingredients together (including sugar). Once creamed, add in dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, soda, salt and cocoa powder). Stir until fully mixed.
- To make the muffins, fill cups with equal amounts of both batter. To create a swirl affect, using a knife and swirl the batter around together, careful not to mix.
- Bake in oven for about 25 minutes or until completley baked.
Eat one, happily digest and repeat. These are perfect compliments to your Halloween brunch or even as a late night snack after a costume party 🙂
Nutritonal information per muffin: 195 calories, 7 grams of fat, 30 grams of carbs and 2.5 grams of protein.
Claire
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Ok, now the muffins. They are the BOMB!